Understanding Your Needs & Getting Them Met

communication needs Jun 22, 2020
Finish the sentence: "in order to feel loved and supported, I need ___________."
 
Were you able to finish the sentence? 
 
Maybe? Maybe not? If not, don't feel bad...most people have no clue how to finish that sentence and have never really given it thought. Hell, for a long time, I didn't. And to be honest, there are times when I still feel challenged with understanding my needs and stating them. 
 
What I've found in myself and in clients is that the suppression of our needs is one of the biggest contributors to burnout, i.e stress, resentment, residual emotions, expectation, health issues, exhaustion, etc. 
 
I learned this lesson after suppressing emotions for nearly 30 years. 
 
I couldn't seem to figure out:
  • Why I always felt pulled in a million different directions (cough cough, people pleasing)
  • Why I felt drained of energy on days when I had slept, eaten, and hydrated well
  • Why I felt resentful toward certain people, even though I love them deeply 
  • Where the cystic breakouts on my face were coming from
  • Why I was facing major health challenges like facial paralysis
  • and on and on....
 
Were other factors at play? Sure, maybe. And... my intuition and body tells me that trapped emotions were eroding my body, mind, and spirit. 
 
So, if any of this resonates for you and you're wondering: "How the heck do I even start to understand my needs? How do I make requests for my needs to be met?..." 
 
Rest assured. There's much less to do than you think. 
 
Over the next week or so, simply be aware of the fact that YOU HAVE NEEDS. That's it. 
 
One of the biggest culprits to not getting our needs met, is trying to deny or hide that we have any. In fact, when I speak with clients, many of them have a hard time admitting this. 
 
It's okay. You're not a monster. I promise.
 
In fact, you're a beautiful human! 🙂 
 
In any given moment, you can ask: "what do I need right now?" "what do I need to feel ________ (safe, loved, supported)? You fill in the blank. 
 
That's it. Just get the conversation with yourself started and see where it takes you! 
 
Much love,
 
Lee 
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