The Untamed Intimacy Blog

Resolve Conflict | Improve Communication | Have Better Sex

Understanding Your Needs & Getting Them Met

communication needs Jun 22, 2020
Finish the sentence: "in order to feel loved and supported, I need ___________."
 
Were you able to finish the sentence? 
 
Maybe? Maybe not? If not, don't feel bad...most people have no clue how to finish that sentence and have never really given it thought. Hell, for a long time, I didn't. And to be honest, there are times when I still feel challenged with understanding my needs and stating them. 
 
What I've found in myself and in clients is that the suppression of our needs is one of the biggest contributors to burnout, i.e stress, resentment, residual emotions, expectation, health issues, exhaustion, etc. 
 
I learned this lesson after suppressing emotions for nearly 30 years. 
 
I couldn't seem to figure out:
  • Why I always felt pulled in a million different directions (cough cough, people pleasing)
  • Why I felt drained of energy on days when I had slept, eaten, and hydrated well
  • Why I felt resentful toward certain people, even...
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Life's Boss Battles: Learning To See How Things Are Happening FOR You Instead of To You

conflict needs spiritual Jun 22, 2020
Did you or someone you know play video games as a kid? 
 
If so, then you know a thing or two about "boss battles."
 
Boss battles occur when you've made it to the end of the level and you've gotta fight "the good fight" against your character's enemy. 
 
 
Why is this relevant? 
 
We, as characters in our own game of life, experience and prevail through our very own boss battles. They may not look like a half-balding orange-haired man with an unusually large mustache (or maybe the do...).  
 
They look like challenging conversations with loved ones, maintenance issues in your home, a difficult co-worker, not getting the job you really wanted, plans falling through, etc. 
 
Sometimes it feels as if it's one thing after the next, which is exactly how it has felt for us and countless others we've spoken to recently. If this is you too, know that you're...
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